To Trust or Not to Trust

Through out the course of my experiences with people and Mental Illness I have heard certain things that keep repeating. The most important I think is the use of the word Trust. Some things I hear are : they have to earn my trust, I don’t trust my doctor because I don’t know him, I don’t trust anyone because they look down on me (stigma) and I’m afraid of being burned.

Well let me take the time to explain why people don’t or have a hard time trusting. They DON’T TRUST THEMSELVES. You see in order to place trust in someone you first have to trust yourself. Sounds a bit out there but it’s fact. You have to trust yourself enough to take a chance on someone or something else. Knowing that you trust your self enough to make that decision makes the difference.

Taking it a step further, trusting yourself creates the feeling of self confidence in  oneself and gives the reassurance to take that chance on someone else. If your confident in yourself your confident in the decisions you make ex. trusting your care in a doctor or trusting a person who is attempting to support you.

One of the biggest factors i’ve experienced that keep people sick is the fact that they don’t have the confidence to deal with the life they don’t want and create the healthy life they long for. This new life of happiness is only accomplished when one learns to trust themselves giving them the confidence to face their foes and place trust in others.

Put it this way if we step aboard an airplane to travel we automatically trust ourselves to take a chance and trust the pilots to get us to our destinations so if it’s Mental Illness we’re dealing with we should have enough trust in ourselves to take a chance on those who want to help and support us.

TRUST IN ONE SELF = SELF CONFIDENCE = THE POWER TO TRUST

 

Chase

   Monday April 9, 2012 I said goodbye to an old friend. At 7:30 am he took his last breath and silently slipped away. Chase was his name and he was a 13 year old Black Lab. An exellent hunter and superb guardian of our home. Most important he was my biggest support with my Bipolar Disorder.

Through all the ups and downs he was there, always wagging his tail and giving me a positive feeling even through the darkest times. No psychiatrist or psychologist was as therapeutical. I look back now and realize that Chase did more than just be there for me. He taught me something as well.

   Thinking back on our adventures it’s plain to see that like all dogs Chase lived in the moment, the present. He never looked back and never cared what was around the corner. He just lived for the moment. I could scold him for something and in two minutes call his name and there he was tail wagging ready for fun. Living that way reinforces the most valuable tool I could have living with Bipolar.

   To those of us suffering with Bipolar, Anxiety and Depression it’s the dwelling on the past and fear of the future that gets us. If we take Chase as our teacher we will learn that it’s living in the present where we will truly be happy and content. Although I miss him like crazy i’m as well happy to know that my buddy whom I always thought I was the teacher to taught me one of the most valuable lessons in living with Mental Illness.

   Thanks Chase… 

 

The Chain

Ever stop and think about how everything in your life is linked. A Chain we’ll say. Every event linked to the next. As you add a new link the previous becomes the past. Now think of Mental Illness as a strain on this lifelong chain. Here’s how it works…

As we live our lives we are constantly faced with Situation. It’s the situations (ex.marital, financial, abuse, self-destructive behavior, loss etc.) which creates feelings within us that take hold of our minds. Feelings associated with a negative lifestyle are Guilt, Shame, Fear, Anger, Loneliness, hopelessness etc. It’s feelings like these that when not dealt with turn healthy thinking faulty. Now your chain weakens.

Enough strain and the chain will stretch and crack. These responses we’ll say result in Paranoia, Behavior, Psychosis and Poor Judgement. It’s these responses that are too much for the chain to handle. Your life suddenly becomes out of control and your chain breaks.

Your    STUCK   SICK    SUICIDAL

Now that your chain has broken it’s time to connect the links. Remember back to the beginning we said that the previous links are the past. That would mean the up and coming links are the future. In order to fix the chain your going to need to focus on the broken link or the present we’ll say. “The past is history, the future is a mystery so live in the present, that’s why it’s a gift”. Remember that the past should teach us to what links need to be fixed.

   The steps to take to begin repair are to look back and Identify, Decide and Address. Identifying the damaged links and deciding on a course of action will give you the tools to address them. Addressing negative issues ( damaged links) will change the way you feel and most importantly feel about yourself. Feelings such as Trust, Confidence, Personal Power, Hope, Love and Joy. These feelings can only strengthen the links of the chain.

   The response resulting from positive feelings are Self Management, Smart Choices, Positive Approach, Self Control and Constructive Behavior. These are the repaired links that connect the chain back together and strengthen each link as it’s added. Remember it’s the past links that teach us, the present link that holds the chain together and forget about the future links, you’ll add them as they come…

Now Your     Connected    Confident    Content